The Quiet Dreams

Tuesday nights, normally spent with you

But tonight corners scream your name, every shadow in my room

Empty space and empty air

My tangled and unkempt hair

If you could see me now I’d look insane

I’d have my fantasies of you clinging to my window pane

Sneaking into my bed,

That perfect nook in your underarm is where I’d put my head

The scent of you surrounding me

That dimple in your chin I’d place my finger so perfectly

I know every inch of you

The perfections, the flaws,

The outline of your feet to your jaw

But tonight I am awake with myself and not dreaming with you

I can’t help feeling lonely even if I wanted to

Somewhere I hope you are thinking of me

Laughing in remembrance of our jokes, our memories

I couldn’t forget you even if I tried

Even when I am asleep you’re in my dreams

In my soul you have my entire heart tied

I guess no one is ever as far as it seems.

 

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Who I am, Who I’ve Been, and Who I’ll always Be

Has it really already been over a month since my last entry? Indeed it has, and I have already neglected one of my first New Year’s resolutions.  I know I can start off by telling you the reasons for my absence and lack of creativity, but I know in the sum of it all I really should have no excuses for anyone.  I am mostly just lying to myself when I say I don’t have time, because I do.  I at times do have the energy but I’m just a lazy cad at times, shall I confess. So here I am with the first blog since January!

*shouts from the street sound in glee and admiration for my personal triumph*

WHOOHOO She LIVES!!!!

And so I am here:

So, allow me to tell you the story of my very reasonable reason for returning to my bloggy blog.  For the past few months (maybe truly not even that since even February up until now has felt like 3 years, but what is time really?) my family and I have been renovating our house.  Which really means, all my really personal belongings are now stored away in plastic tubs, nothing is organized, every inch of my room keeps getting smaller, and I have had to make makeshift blinds so the rest of the world, or whomever loves to stare, does not see me beautifully away in dreamland.  As you can see with the ever changing dynamic and the funky Feng Shui of my things with no real place to call home anymore, my life has felt rather hectic and within apocalyptic disproportion.  Juggling the major stress my culinary school has brought to me, I have no real place that is just for me, and lately that has been causing me some extreme grief.

Though, whilst having just chaos in my bedroom and house, there at times when I feel I would be happiest if I just took the time to actually through my “mess”.  That is what I did, and what I found was myself.Rummaging through my night stand I came across a 3-by-5 note card, and written in purple ink, quite neatly surprisingly, was a speech I had spur of the moment made for my speech class.  Reading it, carefully examining my every careful spot on word, I remembered the day I gave it, and the passions it evoked. What I wrote on it was this:

“We all should believe “that reading to make meaning goes far beyond reading for the moment to practice skills: nor is it an example for assessment and evaluation purposes.  Reading should enable all people, especially young people, to ‘read the world’ as well as the word.  This is impossible if censors present obstructions to a clear view of the world- erect “barbed wire”…” says Fenice Boyd.  Reading a book is something more than just for reading’s sake.  It is the process, it is using the imagination to show the images the author describes, it is the love of being brought forth into another world, and it is the beauty of something different than what the reader is used to that makes reading what it should be.  It is not meant to corrupt, and it is not meant to disgust.  If everyone took the time to really understand the beauty that lies within the text rather than trying to find the ailments, maybe this world would be a better and happier place.  Truly parents and anyone in this world should want the children of this planet to grow up happy and be curious thinkers to wake up and realize that there is more to this like then just what is right in front of them.  Let the children read, that is all I am asking.  Let them be children again.”

After reading this note card of something that I just wrote within 5 minutes, I realized (again) that I had the ability to write with feeling and passion, and do it really well.  Though I know to some what I wrote for my speech may not have been correct nor put very well but I feel that for me, it was something that I was proud of no matter what anyone thought, I mean isn’t that the point anyway?

So gaining my courage again to start posting, not for anyone but myself, here I am again going to give it my best shot! Hope you enjoy the ride, and if anyone is out there actually reading my blogs let me know and if you want to see anything else…

*on a side note

Though I know this blog is somewhat more of a “life” blog I’m really getting into beauty items and such. If you are interested in anything that I like or want a critique on a movie (was actually thinking about doing American Hustle and maaaaaybe Robocop) we’ll see where the winds take me!

Hope you have a beautiful day

May Love Find you all,

Dani >*<