Red

I am a dancing cloud that no one will ever catch an island I have made entirely for myself.  Coconut ice cream and dagger seas.  You can join in the foot pattern or merely observe from your plane passing by.  But I will never leave I will not forsake this bird of my soul that has nested so deep inside that she can’t be caught or tamed.  I am a dark fire ball that has landed to amaze and bring you warmth but I will not be dampened nor will I ever be explained.  No one knows where I had come from or if I will keep digging deep into the soil that can’t keep me still.  I vibrate red, an eternal flame that shatters mirrors and tears walls.  I am the open air the rolling of the rocks that fall as you kick them down the mountain.  Once I am moved I will keep moving not because I do not want to be where I was but to go where I know I’m supposed to go.  And where is that? I don’t know.  I am a mere contradiction that carves my own definition in to the tree of life.  No words or iron clad fists can nail me.  For I don’t even know my purpose but I know what I am.  I am free and like this bird who is deep in my chest as I push off this mortal coil I will inhabit the nearest star and burn it up as bright as the noon day sky so that every single cell in this universe has a piece of what I was.  Nothing but pure and unending desire passion and love that can be felt in the bones of your toes and the cells on the tip of your tongue.  Taste with your heart, feel with your mind, and love with every inch of who you are and then you can see what it is to truly be me.

“A Letter To Me” Monday

Dear Me,

NOT the exclamation, “Oh Dear Me!” but really an address to myself on this day of all days.  It is the beginning of the week and change is in the air.  Soon you will be going to your first day of work (next week) so till then its just you and me and this calm keyboard at your fingertips.

Who knows what this will bring, obviously money which can be good when you need it, but what else? A new found confidence, and a new sense of self, that’s what!

You already feel its effects, the posture, the tone in your voice, the maturity in the way you think. No mean to brag about you me, but seriously you’ve been doing great these past few weeks, really stepping up on that confidence game! If only “certain” people in your life would take notice and maybe make a few changes for themselves as well.

Truly though I know you feel that way, but just think that the only person you really need is you.

The places you are already going, even down to how you dress.  Is an expression of your self worth, never be afraid to stand up for who you truly are and what you truly want.

God you are so beautiful when you love yourself.  People even see it, I know you saw those looks from those guys in the store that day.  Its not just because you are beautiful on the outside (which I know sometimes you think you’re fat and you hate your smile and call it crooked) but they see that glow.  That pure glow of love, for who you are and for the world around you.

Never stop loving the world and your life and the things you were given in it.  I know you know this but truly never forget, that the true beauty of who you truly are is when you love yourself, then the rest of the world will love you right along with you.

Me, you are doing great.  Never stop being yourself.  Never stop believing you can make it because despite what anyone ever tells you, you can.  And no matter what anyone ever promises you if you can, don’t do it for them but do it for yourself.  Love you me, love you harder stronger and longer than anyone in this world can and ever will. Then, and only then will you succeed. Stop criticizing everything you do, stop thinking you’re less than what you are, stop thinking you deserve nothing when you deserve it all.

I know you can do it, I know you will be everything you ever dreamed you could be. You are beautiful. You are wanted. You are loved.

My best regards, my deepest love,

You

Darkness and Light

Creeping slowly and yet it waits,

Under the sheet of your daydreams.

If it does not find a home in your mind

there are other ways.

Sinking down below

It travels through your veins.

With a cannonball it takes a swim in your stomach.

There you shall feel its pains,

It hits you and squeezes you

till you can’t take anymore.

It screams,”Give in to me!”

But you will not, no matter how great the pain.

Staying strong you have felt its hollering presence.

Do not listen to its close, loud, whispers.

You are not worthless,

You are not alone.

For above a light has always shone

And below the earth to hold you.

You don’t need anyone to make you feel like you.

You don’t need anyone to keep you together like glue.

You are beautiful just the way you are

Love yourself, and be your own best friend

A love that is worthy

Till the end.

*Author’s Note: Today I have felt the cruel clutches of loneliness and its depraving words.  Trust me when I say that I know the darkness but I know the light and its there where I want to stay.  Tell yourself you love you everyday.  It isn’t sad to say that we are our own best friends, because its true.  Pure, purest self love (not to be confused with selfishness) is the most important love we can ever allow ourselves to have.  Love yourself and you can truly love others.