Darkness and Light

Creeping slowly and yet it waits,

Under the sheet of your daydreams.

If it does not find a home in your mind

there are other ways.

Sinking down below

It travels through your veins.

With a cannonball it takes a swim in your stomach.

There you shall feel its pains,

It hits you and squeezes you

till you can’t take anymore.

It screams,”Give in to me!”

But you will not, no matter how great the pain.

Staying strong you have felt its hollering presence.

Do not listen to its close, loud, whispers.

You are not worthless,

You are not alone.

For above a light has always shone

And below the earth to hold you.

You don’t need anyone to make you feel like you.

You don’t need anyone to keep you together like glue.

You are beautiful just the way you are

Love yourself, and be your own best friend

A love that is worthy

Till the end.

*Author’s Note: Today I have felt the cruel clutches of loneliness and its depraving words.  Trust me when I say that I know the darkness but I know the light and its there where I want to stay.  Tell yourself you love you everyday.  It isn’t sad to say that we are our own best friends, because its true.  Pure, purest self love (not to be confused with selfishness) is the most important love we can ever allow ourselves to have.  Love yourself and you can truly love others.

Bee Hive

“Captain! We haven’t enough steam to cook these vegetables!”  Worried and oh-so-troubled Troy Becker voiced to his superior, who at the moment looked confused and puzzled, “confuzzled”? “Wha-wha? What does that have to do with what I just told you to do?!  Becker if you don’t man the front desk I’m going to steam more than those vegetables!”

Yes it was another crazy, fun filled day down at the recruiting office.  Only plus side to it all, at least for Troy, was the kitchen.  Now recruitment can have many connotations.  For Troy Becker it meant the new and improved Man Division of the Boy Scouts.  Not quite the action he was seeking when he joined up; however, up at the front, at least he was away from the “Captain”, Rodney Perillo.  That’s “illo” as in “pillow”.  He always emphasized to the newcomers.  “Captain Perillo”.

He was a big man, not stoutly or old looking though he was up there, but big, buff, and really like a captain or more like a drill sergeant.   “Troy Becker I better be hearing some typing or that’s the last time I want to hear you again!” He boomed so forcefully it rattled the front windows like gale force winds.

“Yes sir-ee bob!”  Troy giggled with strange and not necessary delight.  He sat there hitting the keys and typing absolutely nothing.  He found his inner child laughing maniacally.

A, B, C, D, F2, F3, 1, 2, 3… he then found himself looking at the computer screen with a sudden rush to look away.  Somehow he opened up a folder.  It was the Captain’s personal documents, “Why are these on here?  Thought we weren’t allowed to do personal business on the computer?”  A little bewildered and with childish anger, Troy made a decision to open the folder.  “Guess its mine to look at now.”  And with one click it was open.  Military Documents. “Project Bee Hive”. Confidential.

“Oh my God! Man Division my ass.”

Then with on quick thump he felt something on his back, “I knew you would find out eventually.”

Tangled Love

It never seemed enough

All those whispering sorrows

Vanishing into the deep mist of tomorrows.

Clasped together your hands never let go

Your hands holding only yours

Filling your red wine into sores.

I am a constituent to your love

Begging for it pleading for it

But the irony is beside it.

The more I want the less you give

The less I want the more is there

What a pain if not want, then what hope to bare?

We are a tangled love affair

So complicated and everywhere.

But it is you I long to share

Shaving my head just to give you locks of hair.

You are a stable independent man

who jousts his compassion with others to share

But I give myself with none left to bare.

For it is you, my tangled sweet love

That I am yours and yours alone.

Till none of my heart is left and

To you this wretched but beautiful pain I will only condone.

For only a moment in your eyes

That glisten of pure love

is worth every set of lies.

It Was You

Fearlessly, unrelentingly

devastatingly, it was you.

Cherishing ever moment like a forest fire.

We would fall into each other and stay like sticks in a mire.

Every moment I am drawn to you

Quickly swimming to follow the queue.

So many draw in they fear what I fear,

They act so strong and I act so queer.

Like birds to a fish out of water I draw you near.

Flapping and gasping for air to breathe in.

Yet you do not eat me you just throw me back in,

Lightly grazing my fin.

For even just a minute it is you my heart belongs.

If I were a bird I would sing songs

But I am but a fish

Whose nature’s one wish

Is to be caught, not to catch.

Yet I still swim here in wait

swiggling like bait.

For you to see,

But its true,

You are hopelessly bound to the sky

And I bound to the sea

So I must swim fearlessly

Unrelentingly

Devestatingly

…It was you…

January Favorites!!!

It’s FINALLY HERE!!!

Decided that today was the perfect day to post and take some awesome pics of all the things I loved and adored in the month of January!

It may be a teeny bit too late for this post but its always fun to look and write about the stuff that I loved the month before.  I am still loving all the stuff that I loved last month!

So without further ado here it is 🙂 hope you enjoy

Fashion

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Last month was peeeeeerrrrfect for the ultimate sweater splurge! And I did in a way! Forever 21, one of my favorite stores, was having a big sale and I just had to jump right in.

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This sweater, which may just be my favorite out of all of them, is amazingly soft. I love wearing it over a shirt and shorts.  Best part for me was the low hanging pockets, perfect for “slouchily” and cozily resting your cold hands it.  Luxurious and absolutely a wardrobe must! I believe it was only about 20 something dollars! Quite a bargain for a brand new item!

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This hoodie was kind of a last minute buy.  It had been raining and I was freezing so I needed something warm and cute quick! Not only was it not that expensive at all but it was the perfect fit for my body, nothing too bad and perfect length for my hands to fit in the pocket. Plus, I had been wanting a hoodie for quite a while this Burgundy one was a hit with me! 🙂

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Form fitting almost completely transparent sweater.  Love pairing it with blue jeans and underneath just a regular white tank top.  Love the way it fits, loose around the waist but form fitting around the arms. Looks casual and slightly whimsical. And the light pink is so pretty for that winter to spring transition.

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“I ❤ Malibu” sweater, and I actually really do.  I spent a lot of my childhood in Malibu with my grandparents, always felt like a Mini vacation.  Love this sweater too. Incredibly soft and found it in the clearance section for waaaaaaaaaayyyyyy below it’s original price (which I probably would never have paid lol) but I love it and it’s cute!

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Love this thick fluffy crop top sweater.  I’m pretty sure that it was supposed to be hitting me above my hips but because I got a large (I’m a big fan of large sweaters) it fits me perfectly.  I’ll pair this sweater with high waisted shorts or pants.  Love abundance of fluff on it, keeps me warm and just looks cuddle worthy 😉

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Absolutely one of the best long sweaters EVER!!! Perfect with leggings underneath and some cute ankle boots.  Its looks amazing on and its also soft to the touch.  Love long sweaters aaaaaand my boyfriend love the outfits I conjure up with this! Two thumbs up for Forever 21’s sweater sections haha.

Body Care

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Last month I definitely did a lot of experimenting and trying higher end products that I would never really have paid close attention to, but thankfully because of my Ulta rewards points (which were so many I got over $100 dollars worth of free stuff) I was able to buy some pretty cool stuff.  The first thing that I had received in a 12 Days of Christmas advent calendar by Tarte was this Maracuja Oil.  Didn’t really want to use oil on my face but last month I thought why not, and I was not let down.  Right after I cleanse and wash my face I just use 3 drops of this in my palm, rub both my hands together, and then pat it on my face.  I have noticed a distinct difference in my skin since! Recommended!!! The next item I have been in love with is the Clinique Clarifying Lotion 3.  I have combination oily skin so this has been helping my oilyness as well as the skin tone overall.  I am not partial to the smell, I heard someone say it was because of the witch hazel in the ingredients but it almost reminds me of tequila lol. The last skin care/body care product I loved last month was actually an old faithful of mine, Nivea Smooth Sensation with Shea butter and Hydra IQ Dry skin.  I have always used this every night for my hands and feet before I go to sleep.  Didn’t realize how much I loved it before I ran out and ever since I’m swearing by it.

Parfum

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Marc Jacobs Daisy Dream is a dream indeed. Bought the travel sized one with my points from Ulta and then after I realized I had to buy the full size version before I ran out.  Still have plenty left surprisingly.  Love the scent so incredibly awakening and feminine.  Best Marc Jacobs Daisy line parfum of yet.

Makeup

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I didn’t really buy that much makeup last month or rather any I was obsessed with but I fell in love with the Pixi by Petra brand hard and fast! Not only is the packaging that pretty green color but the products are fantastic.  Such as these! All three were limited edition Shea Butter Lip Balms.  The first one is an original shea butter that comes off translucent called Comfort Clear.  The middle a more tan and slightly nude color called, Honey Nectar.  The third has a brighter color and come off on the lips just as bright in the shade Ripe Raspberry.  Very nourishing and feel delectable on the lips, but the main thing that drew me in was the smell.  So sweet and delicious.

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Another Pixi product I fell in love with was their absolutely silky Endless Silky Eye Pen in the shade BlackNoir goes on so richly and no tug at all to your eye.  Feel amazing and so easily blends. Love it.

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Lancome’s La Base Paupieres Pro: Long Wear Eyeshadow Base in the shade Beige Porcelaine though there seems to be some slight tingle upon application which worries me I can’t give this up! Blends like mouse all over my lid giving it a nice champagney coloring and a smooth blendable texture to work with.

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Another Lancome I have recently fallen in love with is the Grandiose mascara.  With its curvy wand and mascara formula it applies to the lashes flawlessly.  adding so much volume I feel like primer is not even needed.  The bottle is a plus to with the beautiful black rose at the very top of the wand.

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And even another Lancome product!!! The Color Design Coral Crush palette (not too sure what to call it haha) love this especially pairing it with the Lancome eyeshadow primer base.  Every color is vibrant and blends so smoothly.  Love it for an every day springy look.

Randoms

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After spending some time down at the Alpine Village in Huntington Beach, CA my mom and I went into this Turkish store that was selling loads of these amulets with this large eye on them.  I being a lover of elephants decided to vouch for this elephant later finding out about the meaning behind it I wanted it to be facing close to my window and bed.  It is I called the Nazar is an eye-shaped amulet believed to protect against the “evil eye”.  Not only is there good luck from the nazar but when you have an elephant with its trunk raised in the sky it is said that it brings good luck!

Movies and Books

Movies

Books

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This book is chock full of interesting ideas and real scientific explanations and answers to the age old questions of “What if…?” Pleasantly written with wit and charm as well as nerd like expertise.  This is something the whole family can enjoy.  Even the tiny little cartoon segments add a charismatic vibe to the book. Science can be fun and this book proves it.

Well my ladies and my gentlemen it is time to say good bye to the January Favorites! Hope you enjoyed a little sneak peak into my world and the items that I enjoyed.  Leave me a comment and let me know what you enjoyed in the month of January.  And if you liked any of the products or stuffs I listed! Hope you have a great day! See you Tuesday! 🙂

MourningDoves7 >*<

Rants, Raves, and Shenanigans

Rants, Raves, and Shenanigans NOT! Sorry 😦

I have been so busy the last few days, and especially yesterday to the point where last night I was in so much pain I did not go to sleep till 3 in the morning haha YAY me!

So I did not prepare for today’s entry buuuut I did, however, write a little something from this book I just got called “300 Writing Prompts” so I figured the days where I don’t post anything at least I’ve got something coming to you guys. Or to whomever reads my stuff haha.  Saturday entries were supposed to be more “diary/journal” like anyway so I figure this would be a great substitute and who knows maybe I’ll start doing these more often 🙂

And as for my “Friday Fashion” entry I’ll hopefully be finishing it and posting it by Monday of next week. So look forward to that pwease 😉

What is your favorite way to spend a lazy day?

Lazy days always start out late.  “Never set an alarm” is a rule you must follow.  I get out of bed and then quickly fall back in cuddling with my favorite stuffed animal, a 26 year old monkey named Keys.  But eventually I am ready to get dressed, wash, and play with my makeup.  Really it is a new obsession.  Play with looks I normally would never do.  Trying different things is fun especially when you have no real please to be or anyone to impress.

Whilst all of this is going on I am either listening to my own “In My Room” playlist, or I am watching a playlist from YouTube.  Lately it has been CutiePieMarzia, love her to death.  Inspiring!  Then after I’m dong with all that I’m either fumbling around trying to find something to watch on TV or playing with video games.  Nintendo 3DS represent!  And XBox 360 as well.

I always try to stay busy and entertained and I love pampering myself, so I’ll always probably give myself a mani/pedi while I’m at it.

Always being good to myself and having fun.  No time like now to enjoy your own company.

MourningDoves7 >*<

The Fallen Forest

Fallen through the cracks, I clutch my dagger that had fallen free from the saddle bag.  “That damn horse is at it again!” I yelled trying to unwedge myself.  The large maple tree that was once a towering giant, now lay petrified and dethroned.  Its trunk had enormous cracks which served as excellent traps for humans it would seem, and ironic seeing as how we were the ones who caused its untimely demise.  We humans were not necessarily as nice to each other either.

“Servanna!” I called for my steed, that mare was more trouble than she was worth.  This was the seventh time she stopped mid run to buck me off, and it seems she picked the prime spot; about 21 minutes off the trail in the center of new forest.

After the battle of Turndred, the king had ordered the entire forest torn to shred.  Every 400 year old maple was uprooted.  Every willow, every oak, every single plant wasn’t just cut, but burned and taken completely out of the ground so it would never have a chance to regrow itself.  Every tree was at least 500 feet tall.

Many of the trees were burned except it would seem the maple tree I got stuck in.

The harder I tried to brace myself out, the more it seemed to grab at my waist.  I pondered to myself if I only had my horse I could wrap the rope around my upper body and she could somehow just yank me out.  However, she seemed preoccupied with playing with a whirling cloud of leaves, which seemed mighty peculiar in a dense, windless, birch forest; but then I remembered the stories, the trees, even the one I was trapped in, the reason the king killed the forest.  It was then I calmed myself, a hum in the air, I felt what I had to say in my bones, “Dear tree, please forgive me.”, and it was then I was freed.

Ancient forest

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Hearts and plants in pots,

Chocolates and cards with polka dots

Its that time to buy our love’s desire.

Casting our spells and coals into the fire,

Awkwardly holding hands at a dinner theater.

Cringing at the thought of an off-key opera singer.

Now I truly know the meaning of “Les” miserable

Never knew a sharp human tone could be that permeable.

And off to the car we go, and you lend your coat.

A sigh and giggle escape my throat

Not even a look and I knew

The same humor and disbelief was felt by you too.

The day was over and not a single moment lost.

Not a single ounce of hate or anger did it cost.

After 4 years it doesn’t matter what we do.

Any moment is the best moment as long as I’m with you.