“A Letter To Me” Monday

Dear Me,

NOT the exclamation, “Oh Dear Me!” but really an address to myself on this day of all days.  It is the beginning of the week and change is in the air.  Soon you will be going to your first day of work (next week) so till then its just you and me and this calm keyboard at your fingertips.

Who knows what this will bring, obviously money which can be good when you need it, but what else? A new found confidence, and a new sense of self, that’s what!

You already feel its effects, the posture, the tone in your voice, the maturity in the way you think. No mean to brag about you me, but seriously you’ve been doing great these past few weeks, really stepping up on that confidence game! If only “certain” people in your life would take notice and maybe make a few changes for themselves as well.

Truly though I know you feel that way, but just think that the only person you really need is you.

The places you are already going, even down to how you dress.  Is an expression of your self worth, never be afraid to stand up for who you truly are and what you truly want.

God you are so beautiful when you love yourself.  People even see it, I know you saw those looks from those guys in the store that day.  Its not just because you are beautiful on the outside (which I know sometimes you think you’re fat and you hate your smile and call it crooked) but they see that glow.  That pure glow of love, for who you are and for the world around you.

Never stop loving the world and your life and the things you were given in it.  I know you know this but truly never forget, that the true beauty of who you truly are is when you love yourself, then the rest of the world will love you right along with you.

Me, you are doing great.  Never stop being yourself.  Never stop believing you can make it because despite what anyone ever tells you, you can.  And no matter what anyone ever promises you if you can, don’t do it for them but do it for yourself.  Love you me, love you harder stronger and longer than anyone in this world can and ever will. Then, and only then will you succeed. Stop criticizing everything you do, stop thinking you’re less than what you are, stop thinking you deserve nothing when you deserve it all.

I know you can do it, I know you will be everything you ever dreamed you could be. You are beautiful. You are wanted. You are loved.

My best regards, my deepest love,

You

Shenanigans Saturday

Prompt 3

What is your favorite work of art? What do you love about it?

Wow! I have never really had to think about this before.  I know I am definitely a sucker for surreal landscape art.  Not too sure the word for it but really it is the unrealistic paintings done to make you imagine what it is and I like that.  When art can make you wonder and experience something entirely unique to you and send you somewhere else, that is what art and paintings should do, at least for me.

Here are a few artists and their works I love:

Joan Eardley

Joan Eardly

Kurt Jackson

Kurt Jackson

Simon Kenny “On a Day Like This”

Simon Kenny

Maurice Sapiro “Fog Lifting”

Maurice Sapiro

Mirror Love Letters

It doesn’t matter how hard you try,

Flowers will always die.

Feed them, love them, but birds are still meant to fly.

As the saying goes if you love someone let them go,

Yet I still lie in wait for them to come back, An ever growing battle with my heart

To and fro

What if they never come back?

What if it isn’t so?

But one thing I’ve noticed

And as true as it may be

What’s important if your love for me.

So self, listen dearly for I will only say this once,

Love yourself the greatest of them all.

You will never let yourself down, you will never let yourself fall.

Be determined in all that you do,

And when you are ready to say the words say them true.

Say I love you, to you.

Shenanigans Saturday

Prompt 2

“Have you ever spoken up when you saw something going on that was wrong? Were you scared? What ended up happening?”

Since Sophomore year in high school I have been away from any social situation, being home-schooled and all, so it has been difficult for me to really have any opportunity at all to defend anyone.  However, when I was little and in elementary school, roughly 3-5 grade, I always stood up for those around me that I felt was badly mistreated,  Literally my fellow classmates, some of which I never really considered friends, would come to me when they needed someone to back them up, listen to them, or face someone who has done something horrible to them.  One instance I remember was when this girl and boy were arguing I stepped in the middle and mediated.  I wasn’t really scared but more upset if anything.  They both ended up hating me as well as each other, but I felt good about myself for having stepped in, made me a “loser” in everyone’s eyes but I know I did the right thing for standing up for the right and trying to help them both see each other’s sides, to help them understand what was really going on.  Even though because I did that everyone thought I was “uncool” I don’t regret doing the right thing…ever!

Another instance I think of was when I was in Junior High school a bunch of the kids in my class were pouring mustard on snails and because I’m a big believer of not causing living things unnecessary pain I tried to pry them off and I was yelling and screaming at them, they called me stupid or weird because I defending a snail.  But I knew what I felt was right and doing that to any living creature is wrong in my eyes I stood up for the right thing.

*Note: Prompts courtesy of the 300 Writing Prompts book that I bought from Barnes and Noble.  Every Saturday I will write a prompt or something interesting, just a bunch of shenanigans really.  Hope you enjoyed today’s prompt.  Let me know if you ever stood up for something you believed in and what happened I would really like to know! Hope you are having a greatly blessed weekend filled with Love and happiness.

All my everlasting peace and love to you all,

MourningDoves7>*<

Maniacal Monday

First ever MANIACAL MOOOOONNNDDDAAAAAYYYYYY!! *said in an announcer voice* Of all the rest of the Mondays to come this should probably be my rustiest.

It has been one hot minute since I’ve written-er “typen” my free flowing thoughts, almost like a journal per se.

Life has been throwing at me almost any thing it can to test my inner strength with myself.  Meaning really giving me a lot of opportunities to be alone, and feel alone.

Usually for someone of my nature who was once use to being alone and finding things to entertain myself with, now that I have grown accustomed to being surrounded by people (whether that be family, my love, my friends, or strangers in the open world) I have always, since the year 2008, been surrounded and been stimulated by company.  Since my parents have taken a holiday to the innermost states, I have been trusted with the keep of my home and family pet, a Labrador named Beau.  Who is much like a child to the chagrin of his age.  He’s a puppy in an old dog’s fur pelt.

But back to the loneliness I have currently been facing.  In the darkest hours of the night and even the brightest hours of the day, I find myself in a daze.  Thinking thoughts and turning situations that would normally seem mundane, into something farfetched and terrifyingly heartbreaking (which depending on the thought could be seen literally or metaphorically).

I have found my mind to be its most diluted and sickened when I am truly and sadly sickened by my own company.  Which is what my point is really about being alone has really made me aware of how I see myself, the world, and really my own company.  How confident I am in myself and how much I love myself really reflects on how I feel when I am all alone.  So lately I have been trying to repair the damage I have been secretly been giving myself for the past 7 years.

So have I found a solution yet? Not really but in truth re-starting this blog again is really giving me something to look forward to and plan for which keeps my mind busy.  I have also taken up working out, yoga and such.  I can’t wait to begin the healing process to loving myself again.  Really I feel like all its going to take is the time to build a life for myself with hobbies, adventures, and knowing that I am a great person and no person’s opinion should formulate that opinion for me.  Confidence starts from within and I am definitely working hard at it.

Hope you all enjoyed the sneak peek into my heart and my Maniacal Monday Post!!!

Peace and Love!  may you find that love for yourself within yourself!!!

MourningDoves7 >*<

Checking In

Hey there one and all!!!!!!

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve checked in or given a post for your reading delight!

But there is good news INDEED!!!

I have a new and improved schedule which will (hopefully) be easier to follow and a little easier to time manage!

So here it is!

Maniacal Mondays! ~ Posting random free writing thoughts about life, the moment, and just anything really!

Poetry and Short Story Tuesdays ~ Either a poem or short story I’m working on, may post or may not depending on if I have anything ready for posting!

Fashion Friday ~ I post my favorites, reviews, or just over all lifestyle beauty or fashion stuffs I have been in love with or even hating

Shenanigans Saturday~ Writing off a prompt I have found either from my book or from an online source. Just something fun to do and even an idea for you to write about as well!

Hopefully this guide will be easier for me to follow and for you as well; and I welcome you all onto my journey of this beautiful and amazing thing called life! Welcome to The Moment We Live We Breathe!

Peace and happiness to you all,

Love…MourningDoves7 >*<

Carving Tools

The trees they fold me in

A disastrous quiver of excitement.

I am overtaken.

Deeper and deeper till there is no more

I am but the earth

a child of the moon and lore.

To believe is to have, to have is to believe

Those who don’t believe are left in want.

Tangles realities finding happiness to weave.

It is but a dream this reality

The truth is in your mind

Just hidden away waiting for you to find.

It longs to be free it longs to fly

Leave it for too long it will die.

Life is your work of art every moment your carving tool

How will you use it?

Smashing it and fixing the pieces?

Or

Living brightly and happily inching your way through masterpieces?

Darkness and Light

Creeping slowly and yet it waits,

Under the sheet of your daydreams.

If it does not find a home in your mind

there are other ways.

Sinking down below

It travels through your veins.

With a cannonball it takes a swim in your stomach.

There you shall feel its pains,

It hits you and squeezes you

till you can’t take anymore.

It screams,”Give in to me!”

But you will not, no matter how great the pain.

Staying strong you have felt its hollering presence.

Do not listen to its close, loud, whispers.

You are not worthless,

You are not alone.

For above a light has always shone

And below the earth to hold you.

You don’t need anyone to make you feel like you.

You don’t need anyone to keep you together like glue.

You are beautiful just the way you are

Love yourself, and be your own best friend

A love that is worthy

Till the end.

*Author’s Note: Today I have felt the cruel clutches of loneliness and its depraving words.  Trust me when I say that I know the darkness but I know the light and its there where I want to stay.  Tell yourself you love you everyday.  It isn’t sad to say that we are our own best friends, because its true.  Pure, purest self love (not to be confused with selfishness) is the most important love we can ever allow ourselves to have.  Love yourself and you can truly love others.

Bee Hive

“Captain! We haven’t enough steam to cook these vegetables!”  Worried and oh-so-troubled Troy Becker voiced to his superior, who at the moment looked confused and puzzled, “confuzzled”? “Wha-wha? What does that have to do with what I just told you to do?!  Becker if you don’t man the front desk I’m going to steam more than those vegetables!”

Yes it was another crazy, fun filled day down at the recruiting office.  Only plus side to it all, at least for Troy, was the kitchen.  Now recruitment can have many connotations.  For Troy Becker it meant the new and improved Man Division of the Boy Scouts.  Not quite the action he was seeking when he joined up; however, up at the front, at least he was away from the “Captain”, Rodney Perillo.  That’s “illo” as in “pillow”.  He always emphasized to the newcomers.  “Captain Perillo”.

He was a big man, not stoutly or old looking though he was up there, but big, buff, and really like a captain or more like a drill sergeant.   “Troy Becker I better be hearing some typing or that’s the last time I want to hear you again!” He boomed so forcefully it rattled the front windows like gale force winds.

“Yes sir-ee bob!”  Troy giggled with strange and not necessary delight.  He sat there hitting the keys and typing absolutely nothing.  He found his inner child laughing maniacally.

A, B, C, D, F2, F3, 1, 2, 3… he then found himself looking at the computer screen with a sudden rush to look away.  Somehow he opened up a folder.  It was the Captain’s personal documents, “Why are these on here?  Thought we weren’t allowed to do personal business on the computer?”  A little bewildered and with childish anger, Troy made a decision to open the folder.  “Guess its mine to look at now.”  And with one click it was open.  Military Documents. “Project Bee Hive”. Confidential.

“Oh my God! Man Division my ass.”

Then with on quick thump he felt something on his back, “I knew you would find out eventually.”

Tangled Love

It never seemed enough

All those whispering sorrows

Vanishing into the deep mist of tomorrows.

Clasped together your hands never let go

Your hands holding only yours

Filling your red wine into sores.

I am a constituent to your love

Begging for it pleading for it

But the irony is beside it.

The more I want the less you give

The less I want the more is there

What a pain if not want, then what hope to bare?

We are a tangled love affair

So complicated and everywhere.

But it is you I long to share

Shaving my head just to give you locks of hair.

You are a stable independent man

who jousts his compassion with others to share

But I give myself with none left to bare.

For it is you, my tangled sweet love

That I am yours and yours alone.

Till none of my heart is left and

To you this wretched but beautiful pain I will only condone.

For only a moment in your eyes

That glisten of pure love

is worth every set of lies.