Nail Biter

To some, growing out their nails to a decent, over the tip of the skin length, wouldn’t be much of a challenge nor even much of an accomplishment; however, in my instance it

You see from a nail biter’s perspective the moment when you finally give your gritty habit up is the moment you are no longer seen as such and are therefore never determined to be a nervous, over anxious, or a neurotic person.  And yet I still find myself carefully placing the strange new growths in my mouth feeling its firm push against my teeth.  Oh how they have been waiting to crunch on that dirty hard and overgrown piece of flesh.

There are reasons I felt that nail biting, in my instance, needed to come to a halt.  Firstly and probably in a way realistically is the health aspect of it all.  Underneath our nails, even if I were to keep it clean 24/7 with hand sanitizer and scrubbing them till the fleshy underside of them start to bleed, there will always be bacteria, viruses, and all sorts of yummy little creatures longing for a nice warm and damp place to raise a family, and ultimately take over my kingdom (to be put lightly).  I am a very sickly person any sort of cold or flu will knock me flat for a good few weeks.

Second option of returning my nails to a hearty length, well long nails look feminine.  I have had short nails for so long never really paid much attention to it till late, and it is quite silly that I should judge my own femininity upon the length and shape of my nails.  Girls with long nails always seem to touch things gently with careful concentration.  Something always seemed to be feminine about that, as opposed to me free-spirited non-caring way of grasping things quickly and swiping it up with no care in the world that my nails would be hatched off my some inanimate object.  Nails really shouldn’t define the way we see ourselves as a person but in my case they somewhat did.

It was in specific times of the year when I was off from school or just having a really good week I would notice that my nails would begin to grow.  And in beautiful form too, oh the excitement that would rush over my body, “Something new!!! I can finally look like I have a manicure, my fingers will look so good now!” But shortly after things in my life starting getting stressful, my nails slowly began to disappear again.  It was then I realized, I can judge my own state of mind, my own happiness by the length of my nails.

So It had been a little experiment of mine lately to see how long I could grow them out.  They have stayed long, a few have gone down but the majority are long and happy.  Something this small seemed to me like such an accomplishment, that in my own world aka My life, I am able to make a difference with myself, when in truth I had always believed I couldn’t make a difference at all. And it is in the difference that I realize the difference I make doesn’t necessarily have to be big, it can be small.  As long as I pour myself into it, believe in it, and truly really want it that’s all that matters no matter the size of change it makes.

Whether it’s to clean your room, fix the pot holes in your street, or to stop biting your nails, no accomplishment or change is too small as long as you believe in it, we should all value every moment and every positive moment that comes our way!

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